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| click on picture for life size replica of the Snooze Button 3000 |
Introducing the Snooze Button 3000! So life like, because it is!!! No more annoying battery operated alarm clocks/radios!!!!
The Brody Line of the Snooze Button 3000 quietly lets you know when it's time to get up. And when I mean quietly, I mean repeatedly. And when I say get up, I mean he's ready to be fed.
The Snooze Button 3000 will first awake you by knocking important shit off your nightstand. This could include your glasses, your iPhone, and even a full glass of water!! Simply push the SB3000 away and dip back into a semi- slumber for approximately 9 minutes. After that time, you'll feel the SB3000 give you a gentle, yet jolting tap,tap,tap against your right nostril. Certain SB's come with a extended sharp claw that has the possibility of piercing your nose. This may result in eye watering. If you so desire to sleep a little longer, firmly shove the 3000 off the bed and unintelligibly mumble. Doggedly pursue another 8 minutes of sleep.
Other features of the Son of a Bitch 3000 include more persistent levels of the face-paw, along with stepping on your eyeball, knocking more shit off shelves, playing a loud, solitary game of plug hockey in the bathtub, stepping on your full bladder in juuusssttt the right spot, as well as aggressive meowing, cold wet nose kisses against your eyelids, scratching of furniture/ your bare arms and general cat a-holeness.
The Snooze Button 3000!!! You'll never be late for work again!
*don't forget to feed the cat on the way out. Otherwise you may not be let back in.
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