As a child, 'going camping' in our family meant Dad running around the night before packing the car, Mom staying out of the way until needed, and us kids standing around wondering why camping equaled building character and why Dad was talking to himself about packing the orange cooler juuusst so. It also meant getting up VERY early; early enough for Mom to mutter "7am is too fucking early to start building character".
Imagine, if you will, a blue Dodge Aries, mid '80's. Previously mentioned in a blog : The Giant Yellow Canoe tied on top of the car. Bikes strapped to the back, 3 kids stuffed in the back seat, a dog called Buffy somewhere amongst the orange cooler, the big old green tent from the Army (which had approximately 317 separate poles) and all manner of other shit necessary to feed and entertain five people for a number of days. Dad would drive all day (All Day.) to find the perfect spot, near a lake that I'm supposed to remember the name of, and we'd set up the tent and have just a splendid time I'm sure, if I actually remembered any of it. The fact that the car ride remains seared into my memory concerns me.
Camping with my sister last month was much simpler except for the fact we couldn't find any marshmallows that weren't a giant family sized bag or coconut/strawberry flavored. By the time we had driven all over Sechelt and settled for a bag of mini ones, and gotten back to the site we were so stressed and fed up that we fixed ourselves a gin and tonic ASAP. Which makes me wonder how our parents did it at all. Or why. Why would they put themselves thru the stress of packing, driving, setting up with children who have to stop and pee slash throw-up every two seconds, or demand that we stop the car immediately and proceed no further until we dig the red blanket with elephants on it from the bottom of the back of the piled high car thankyouverymuch. (All me. I was a really pleasant child, I swear)
Camping as a grown up is in fact much more pleasant- as long as you have nice neighbours. If you happen to get a site next to yours (such as Site 34, our neighbours in Port Renfrew last week) that contains some obnoxious people who are genuinely bad eggs who are loud and stupid on purpose it won't ruin your weekend, but it will give you a topic of conversation. You will immediately appreciate how nice you are, and your friends will appear extra lovely and helpful compared to these folks. And you'll have a comparison for the following years when you meet more people like this:
"Man, that person was really obnoxious."
"Site 34 obnoxious or less so? Did he play rave music till 3am? Have a rap battle with his friends? Pee on or near your tent? Get up at 6am and complain loudly about how cold it is on the ocean without a sweater?"
People like this need to not go camping near me. I want to listen to the sound of the ocean in the morning, not Troubled Tommy whining loudly about how hard his life is. I'd rather listen to Chippy the chipmunk or the friggin crows cawing than that. We did have a pretty great time, even if our neighbours threatened to start a forest fire.
I guess in the end I'm glad I had all those lovely camping experiences as a child because I've learned what to do and how not to act.
Back to camping with small children-the other thing you have to worry about is the dangers. The very real dangers of your child a) screaming incessantly b) refusing to have any fun whatsoever c) getting up to pee in the middle of the night and getting lost and wandering through the campsite screaming "MOM??? DAD????? MOMMMY??? I CAN'T FIIINND YOU."
Once again. All me. Good thing I've learned how to camp properly and built all that character.
Aforementioned green tent, but with Vdub van that preceded the Dodge.
