Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Death and all his friends

I met her twice. Through a friend of a friend at that friends' birthday party and then we became facebook friends and that's how I learned she had died.
I can't tell you her middle name, her favorite color or type of food she preferred. I remember the night I met her and her partner and thinking how lovely they both were and how much we had alike. You know when you meet those people and you just click no matter who you are with or what you believe in? And I never saw her face again.

And then her heart stopped. And it never started again and although I didn't know her well it gets me to stop and think for a minute about how the wrong people get chosen by death all the time.
Because I think about her wife and her kids-her son and daughter, her little boy and girl who were just at the Santa Parade dreaming about presents under the tree and warm gooey cookies from the oven and snuggles from their two mommies. I hurt for their hurt and their loss and for my friends loss and heartache. The sudden. The shock. The 'I'm sorry for your loss' like we want to take some responsibility for this problem we can't fix. We want to help.
Death is there. All the time. And sometimes, he shows his face.
When it comes to death there are no words that can fix. The tightest hug won't heal the wound that ripped open your chest when you heard the news, the one that now swallows your tears that just won't stop.
But it's the comfort of the loved ones still here and the little snuggles from your kids and the memories and laughter from still fresh hours ago.
And you have to know it's okay to laugh. It's okay to remember those giggle fits and happy memories because that is what will get you through this.
So you make sure to appreciate the people around you and tell them you love them and you wake up every goddamn morning and you realize how lucky you are and you're thankful for what you have, no matter how little or big it is, or who or what is in your life.

And you appreciate that you had the pleasure of knowing her at all.



2 comments:

  1. Dawn, you have a way of capturing all 'things' so excellently in your writing, whether riding an elevator or the death of someone we happened to have met. I hope our paths cross one day and I get to meet you. You made me laugh out loud so many times, and now you have made me cry, too. Keep keeping it real.

    Love the video.
    Hugs to you,
    Liz (Shannon's friend)

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  2. Thank you so much Liz! That really means a lot. Sorry I made you teary! The video and song and lyrics fit the situation unfortunately.
    Thanks for reading,

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