Lessons learned

Disclaimer!! I say all of this with love and compassion for my parents...I take nothing away from what they taught me and this isn't meant to be cruel or mean spirited. It's just the truth. Which sometimes can be cruel and mean spirited.

1. Feeling flu-ish? Mom: Drink rum. Hot Toddy's mainly.
2. Spicy food? Dad:  Drink beer.
3. Always clean up after yourself. Dad: This pertains to grooming snow mostly. Never leave a mess behind, you've got to leave it smooth, like you were never there. Now when he cooked, this was a different scenario. The man leaves a messy kitchen like I've never seen. You've got 12 more bran granola flax muffins left on the counter when he's through.
4. Dad: Know where the fuse box is and how one 'works'
Side note: The thing about fuse boxes is that you could take ten thousand panels and line em up and they would all look exactly the same- half assed labelling, chicken scratch writing, abbreviations, old labels scribbled out and written over (toaster got replaced for the cappuccino machine, and what used to be the switch for the microwave is now the "brand new power tool extravaganza shed").
5. Safety first. Dad: if you are driving/walking through a construction site or walking by someone working an excavator/tractor/or any other heavy machinery, always make eye contact with the person before blindly strolling/driving through so that you know it's safe to cross and the operator knows someone is there.
6. Dad: Never sign a contract without reading it thoroughly.
7.Dad: Know how to use a CB radio and how to use a chainsaw.
8. Mom: Television shows go on hiatus before the months of November and May, in order to draw in more viewers during those select months and thereby winning the ratings war. Until then, it's repeats folks.
9. If your feet are cold put a hat on. Never ever ever were we allowed to turn up the heat. The wood stove did it's best woodstoving most of the time, but you'd normally find us fighting for the little ledge RIGHT beside the fireplace. Quite often we'd have burn marks on our pants. Luckily we had 16 layers on.
10. Visitation rights: Coming over to visit? Chat? Great- bring a load of wood in for the fireplace as you enter.
11. Mom : never date someone who is prettier than you are.
12. Mom: don't point at people. It's rude.
13. Laughter is the best medicine: Both Mom and Dad- Find yourself hilarious. Tell a bad joke to break the ice, and then chuckle at your own unique cleverness. Think to yourself  "My gosh, I really am funny aren't I? I bet they've never encountered someone like me before" And they probably haven't met someone like you. But that's why it's such an awesome lesson. Quite often ( and if you've read any of the previous posts you'll know this)I've tripped in public or gotten tangled in my headphone wires at the gym while on the treadmill, and instead of getting flustered or embarrassed I make a joke of it. It's not that big a deal. I often wish I had a camera following me around for moments where I've walked into a pole (it's happened) or miscalculated a step or two (yup, been there) because I imagine it looks hilarious. And it's way better on you and your ego to think you are awesome than to get bogged down in meaningless mistakes or embarrassments from every day life. Just roll with the punches. And maybe find some better jokes.

14. Love your parents  (something I've taught myself) They may drive you crazy. You may have to be the adult most of the time. You probably have a ton of traits that remind you of them and you might resent them for it. Don't. Embrace it, accept it, love the fact that you are so much like them and remember how funny they are, even in the moments that make you crazy, because it will help you get through it most likely. Exhibit A: my mother and any VCR.

Okay, I'm about done here. These obviously aren't the only lessons. And if they are then I am in more trouble than I thought.