Elevators, or Why I take the stairs

First an elevator joke: guy says to elevator repairman: how was your day? repairman says, oh it was up and down. bwahahahaha.
Elevators are the most awkward social experiment I have ever experienced. There is some unspoken agreement that people just go along with when it comes to elevators. If you are there first you get in first, of course after the previous occupants unload. Then you tell the person the floor you wish to disembark on and they have to press it. Even if your hands aren't occupied, they pressed the button first, they are now in charge of the panel of floors. It's their call. The person to first step up to or into the elevator has all the power and holds your life in their hands. Is that being a little too dramatic? I didn't think so. Also, if you enter first you are inevitably getting off first, which means you are stuck behind everyone that got on after you. That's just how these things, and Murphy's law, work.
Now that you are safely in the elevator, and you check to make sure you haven't randomly dropped your keys down the shaft, the awkwardness begins. For me at least. What do you do while shifting between floors? Stare up at the ceiling tiles, over to the side, god hopes there isn't a mirror in the elevator. What a cruel joke that was, putting mirrors in a small awkward elevator. Whose idea was that anyways? Do you slyly stare over to the other person hoping they don't notice to see if they secretly want to make some sort of contact? No? Quick look away! Maybe sigh a little bit. If the ride is longer than three floors, Jesus, I would rather walk. I really would.  Very rarely do you make friends on an elevator. What do you say to the person when you unload? See you have a nice life, enjoy your ride, it was great riding with you?
There is a large percentage of time that I have spent on elevators making small talk, babbling nervously as I get off on my floor. This is usually in front of an attractive male. There is a small percentage of time where I actually manage to pay attention and get off on my floor. I have a bad habit of zoning out and blindly following people off the elevator. I then realize my mistake, twirl around in confusion, and decide to take the stairs the rest of the way. I announce this decision to the person staring oddly at me, and yes, it is normally an attractive, nice smelling male.
Oh, and to those people that press the buttons more than once, it doesn't help. It doesn't make the elevator move faster, I'm sorry to say but you just don't have that much power in life.
So this is why I choose to suffer up 6 flights of stairs. Not for the exercise or the well being of my heart, but because I'm awkward and nervous and you generally don't run into attractive nice smelling males who think you are just a little bit wierd.