At the Dentist

I've worked in a dentist office for five years as an assistant. My job requires me to develop x-rays, file work done in charts, assist the doctor(obviously) and greet the patients as they enter the office and lead them to the operatory room. I've dealt with all types of bodily fluids, helped the elderly gentlemen pull their pants up and their shirts down, had kids bite me, parents scold me, old ladies pat me on the bum and old men(usually veterans of a/the war, which makes it okay)  hit on me. I am supposed to get them seated in the chair, bib them, and leave the room.

And this is where things get strange. For some reason when presented with the dental chair, people get really confused. It's as if they are trying to solve a sudoku puzzle. "Well, if this leg goes here and this arm is over there..."  I've seen patients sit in the chair with their legs hanging off either side, I've seen them crawl up from the footrest like they were scaling a mountain, seen them shuffle backwards on their bums from the furthest point of where I eventually want them to end up. Some ride the thing like they were riding a mechanical bull in a bar. Others hop on it like a carousel, and kids treat it like a roller coaster. And yes, I'll move the headrest up, and yes the arm rest moves, and I'll place it where it's supposed to be once you are settled.( FYI: You shouldn't be out of breath by the time you are) Some advice: pretend you're in Mexico and you're just sitting down for a beer by the pool. Actually pretend this anyways, even if you do know how to sit in a chair, it'll help with the nerves that overcome most folks when visiting the office.  Those lounge chairs never give you trouble do they?

The proper way to sit? Sit down perpendicular to the chair and swing your legs up and onto the chair. It's that easy.

And then I'll move the arm rest.